You know what pisses me off? After four months of rehearsing for Willy Wonka the week we open I get sick. And not just your run of the mill, everyday common cold. Oh no. It’s not that simple. It has be the mother of all sinus problems with allergies sprinkled on top for good measure.
Hating doctors and not having medicine at home to take, I did the one thing that anyone who needed to get better immediately would do. I turned to Twitter.
I tweeted my dilemma and within in moments I had a mixture of well wishes and remedies. One in particular I never heard of kept popping up, the Neti Pot.
Without knowing much about it, I called my mom to babysit and flew to the nearest drug store. Before I knew it I was standing in front of the rack of sinus and allergy medicines holding a box with a cute little blue tea kettle looking thing on it. It didn’t look so bad and everyone was raving about how it opens you up so I decided to give it a shot. Trusting strangers I’ve never met with my sinuses, I went to pay for my cute little kettle and even got an instant rebate! My day was looking up.
Then I got home and read the instructions.
“Oh HELL No!”
“Oh, look, Grammy! Mommy bought me a new tea kettle!”
While my daughter played with the kettle, I was reading how the spout, where pretend tea was currently being poured out of, is supposed to be inserted into one of my nostrils. As I tilt my head forward and to the opposite side, the water mixed with salt and baking soda was going to go in the one nostril and come out of the other.
Again, I repeated, “Hell. No!”
The 30 page instruction manual landed with a thud on my dining room table. I stalked into my living room and flopped onto the sofa. All day I thought of that little blue kettle and the absurdity of its intended use. I took my frustrations out on Twitter; I felt betrayed by my new friends. How could they suggest something like this? I found some sympathy but mostly people were telling me to stop being a baby and just do it. Even my dear and supportive friend Susi wanted me to record my first attempt, for educational purposes, I’m sure.
Isn’t she a doll?
With opening night quickly approaching and my sinus passage nowhere near clear I actually started to contemplate using the little devil. I paced back and forth in the kitchen and thought, “screw it.” I picked up the blue devil, as I started to call it, filled it with the right amount of water, dumped in the pre-packaged mixture of salt and baking soda and had a quick laugh over what I was about to do.
Standing over the sink (clean of dishes, mind you) I brought the kettle up to my nose and inserted the spout into my right nostril. Tilting my head to the left I started to pour the liquid up my nose. I felt some pressure build in my sinuses, much like when you’re swimming and water goes up your nose. (I know, duh.)
Then, it happened. The liquid began to drip out of my left nostril. I started to giggle which was a mistake because then the salt water started to go down my throat causing me to gag. I sounded like a demented seagull. If you want to know what one sounds like just do what I just did.
After using about half the solution I blew my nose and repeated the steps to the other side. When I ran out of the solution I blew my nose and just stood there.
I took a deep breath in through my nose and pushed it back out the same way. A smile starting forming as I realized that the stupid little plastic kettle thing worked. The damn thing actually worked! I still had a sore throat and my eyes were still itchy, but I could take care of that with cough drops and some OTC allergy medicine.
I left for my show feeling confident and clear. For about an hour when it closed back up again 😦
But never fear, fellow Neti Pot users, if you’re reading this, I haven’t given up on my little blue devil. The instructions recommend you “rinse” twice a day and so I have been and I do feel a great deal better. I am happy to announce that although it is one of the most disgusting practices I have ever done, it is something I will continue to do.
What about you guys? Do you have any disgusting or different remedies that help you get over colds, allergies, common ailments? I’m up for the new Neti Pot discovery!